The Last Will & Testament of Justin Cheah.
9 11 2009I, Justin and born of Cheah, Johor Bahru, Malaysia, declare that this is my last will and testament.
Article I
Preliminary declarations
I revoke all prior wills and codicils.
I am married to no one. I have no children (as far as I know)
Article II
To Christine, my beloved sister, I leave my handphone. Yours is run-down and sad and mine has nice photos of me in it you can look at. I also leave you my lightsaber but you cannot have my Clone Trooper helmet because it won’t fit.
To Tang Tian Shi, the friend of all friends, I leave all the wealth in my banking account. Depending on when I die, it may range from 1,000,000 to -500,000. If it is a negative amount, you are hereby indebted to help me pay it off. Or I will, I will, haunt you, (clap), haunt you. (clap)
To Philip Wong (or whatever name he now goes by, to escape from his ex-girlfriends), I leave my height. And my English.
Now everything will be easier.
To Jordan Boo, I leave my weight. I also leave him all the signboards we stole in the middle of the night.
To Cliff Low, I leave all my books. Read and grow.
I also leave him all and any of my clothes that can fit him, My WOW account and passwords, and all my hats and/or walking-sticks.
To Fionna Ann Anthony, I leave my wine, beer, liquor, and all alcohol except my nail polish remover and Listerine.
To Joy Tang, I leave my acoustic guitars. Make good use of them and try not to damage their bodies or rust the strings with sweat. I also leave her my microphone and youtube favourited videos.
To Heng Xuan Yi, I leave all my sports-related items. Do not lose the basketball.
To Lee Yee Long, I leave my condoms. (unused)
To Liaw Soon Khit, I leave my latest PC. Please erase everything from the hard disks and sell the parts. However, if the PC is better than yours, you can use it as your own. And ha ha your PC lost to a dead man.
To Roger Teo, I leave my SA @cash. I hope you can buy a 30-day weapon.
To Nigel Boo, I leave my SuperBrie. Because I know you will never install the Mousehunt Toolbar.
To Kevin Quah, I leave my electric guitars. You will probably have many acoustic ones by then.
To Grace Ong, I leave my latest iPod and all the music inside of it.
To Ho Kang Mei, I leave all my 50 cent coins. She will know what to do with it.
I also leave her my internet line and a modem.
To Phil Yee, I leave pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew. And a pair of scissors to /wrist and join me.
To Jillian Tan, I leave all my CDs and Music collection. I also leave her all my artwork. And any concert tickets I had on me when I died.
To Shaheelan a/l Kanye West, I leave all my shoes. Most of them will be too small but I know he likes to collect shoes. (Sha, not Kanye)
To Ong Tze Zhuan, I leave my guitar effects pedals.
To Jackson Chow, I leave my amplifiers.
To Liew Shan Bin, I leave my right eye.
To Miley Cyrus, Minnie Driver, Paris Hilton, and David Archuletta, I leave a tight slap. And a bullet through their throats.
Signed,
Justin Cheah
—–end of document—–
after reading 2nd round thru…..SHA COLLECTS SHOES?
Eh i collect sneakers ok… collecting shoes sounds quite gay… realized it too after reading the 2nd time…
I would definitely love to have your iPod. Is this tagging? I would love to do my will too!
[…] To Fionna Ann Anthony, I leave my wine, beer, liquor, and all alcohol except my nail polish remover and Listerine. To Joy Tang, I leave my acoustic guitars. Make good use of them and try not to damage their bodies or rust the strings with sweat. … To Jillian Tan, I leave all my CDs and Music collection. I also leave her all my artwork. And any concert tickets I had on me when I died. To Shaheelan a/l Kanye West, I leave all my shoes. Most of them will be too small but I …This Blog […]